Oh!
Ahhhh!
♪
Ahhhh!
♪
Counterfeit Cat!
Oh, Gark.
Competition fuels our cattish desire for greatness.
You're new, so don't get frustrated by failure.
Oh!
Checkmate!
Yes, you'd think so, wouldn't you?
Whoops!
Seems my king is the only piece left,
which means I win!
Ah, the classic "white glue defense".
Isn't that cheating?
I like to call it "creative winning"!
Aha!
Seven kings! Read 'em and weep!
I don't get why we actually play the game
if you're going to cheat.
I might as well just cheat, too.
Yes. You have learned well, young apprentice.
Backbiting!
Rumormongering!
Nasty sniping!
Is it the scourge of society?
No!
It's the thrilling new reality show, "The Cat Crib"!
And we're looking for contestants!
What?!
Six cats, five days, one house!
Who will score enough points to win?
Me! Me will!
It's been my lifelong dream!
You said your dream was to shave off Anton's hair
and paint him to look like a pig!
And you did that!
You're new here, and no one expects you
to know everything,
but winning a reality TV show makes you
the most important being on Earth!
But don't you have to be super-talented to be chosen?
No, Gark. That's the best thing!
They'll take anybody!
We're anybody!
Meet Ranceford, the perfect one!
Trash Can Hat Cat, the kook!
Anton, the jock!
Jackson, the unbalanced loner!
Gark, the nice one!
And Max.
Well, nobody's perfect!
Each one hoping to be crowned King or Queen of Cats
at the end of the week!
This is "The Cat Crib"!
Huh?
Ah...!
Huh?
Huh?!
Aha!
Ugh. What do they want now?!
"Cat-mates, welcome back from naptime.
Now for your first challenge..."
"...curtain-shredding!"
I believe we have a winner!
I believe we have a cheater.
Like I said!
Is Max a cheater?
Not in my eyes.
He's just very...
strategic.
Do I plan to cheat my way to victory?
Yes.
Does that make me bad?
Yes...
but I'm the bad boy this year, so it's on-brand.
Due to Max's inability to play by the rules,
I propose we form an alliance.
Together, we will oust him from this house.
Right?
Yeah! And I'll kick his butt!
Bam!
I have a head full of bumblebees!
Buzz, buzz!
Right, good news.
Jackson? Are you with us?
If it means pain, humiliation, and loss for Max,
I'm all in.
Hey... Where's Gark?
Max!
I... Well...
The others have formed an alliance against you!
Oh, really? Fascinating.
You have done well to rat out your friends, Gark.
But it feels wrong.
But so does them ganging up on you.
But so does ratting them out!
But so does them ganging up on you!
- But so does... - Gark!
Now, look. I'm going to need your help
to cheat at this next competition.
That feels wrong, too!
But so does ratting them out!
- But so does... - Gark!
Focus... on the prize.
"Our next challenge to keep us interesting is..."
"...baking kitty treats!"
♪
Are you sure you know how to make kitty treats?
Nope.
Good thing is it doesn't matter, though, because...
But that's cheating!
Now we let it bake for an hour.
Hey, no tasting our treats!
Says we're to put samples of our kitty treats
in these containers to show the judges.
Winner gets 500 points!
Ooh! We'd best get right to it, then!
It won't open!
Max!
You did something! You cheated!
Actually, it was Gark.
He laser-fused your oven shut.
You fool!
Don't you see what you've done?!
I see I've just won...
What? This is my fault?
Of course it's your fault!
Your cheating blew everything up!
I fail to see the connection.
Max, this is serious!
Alright! I admit my cheating was wrong.
I don't suppose being repentant scores extra points?
No!
Hey! Wait up!
Phew! That was close!
Where's Jackson?
He'll be back. He always comes back.
Might be missing another leg or two, but, uh...
Max...!
Alright! I promise not to cheat again
if we can just get out of here!
♪
A water road!
And it's angry!
It's a river, you dunce!
And, if we can find a boat, we can all get across!
See you later, losers!
Whoooooaaaa!
You cheater!
Oof.
Max!
I thought you were giving up cheating!
Can't you see that it doesn't pay?
I have truly learned, Gark.
Good!
I've learned...
I just haven't been cheating hard enough.
Cheating is what makes our world great!
Man landing on the moon?
Total fake, but worth it.
And figure skating?
How can you do those beautiful jumps if you don't
cheat and use invisible wires?
I will not stand here and have you bad-mouth cheating!
Max, look!
It's a map, and it shows where there's
a pond stuffed with fish!
Good thing, too. Cheating makes me snacky.
I'm hungry, too.
Which way?
Uh... 200 yards...
that way!
But...! But...!
Ugh! Stupid no-signs-having forest!
Where am I?
Gark thinks he's so great!
If he's so great, why isn't he here now
to let me cheat off him?
I can't very well cheat alone, now can I?
Oh, well. Maybe set up camp for the night.
Oh, that looks like a good spot over there!
Good spot, you say?
Yeah, soft.
Hmm. 'Cause I was going to say over there
looks much nicer!
Oh, is that so? I'll give it a go. Thanks.
Sucker.
You should have seen your expression!
Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
You like cheating, eh?
Me? What about you?
Cheater! You're the cheater!
Oof! Oof!
Quicksand! Help!
Ohoho! Look who's crying now!
Noooo!
It was never meant to be this way!
Oh, Wizard of Cheating...
why hast thou forsaken me?
Aaaaaaa... Oof!
Oof!
- Max the Cat! - Mm...?
Welcome back to "The Cat Crib"!
Huh? This was all part of the show?!
Sure was!
We had cameras on you all the time.
When the others were in trouble, we picked them up.
So...
I guess this means I won, hmm?
Oh, good grief, no!
You were the most horrible contestant we ever had...
but extremely entertaining!
I won, Max - for being the nice one!
Oh, I see.
Well, that's... good...
I guess. Yay.
And, since I'm the nice one,
I'm transferring my crown as Cat Crib King to you.
You can't do that! That's cheating!
Huh?!
Gark, you really are the nice one.
And, if I've learned anything from all of this, it's that,
in a gloriously twisted way, my cheating got me this crown!
All hail me!
I win like I always do! I win like I always do!
I can't hear you!
Hmm... Hmm...
Hmm!
Hmm.
Feh!
Nice move, Gark.
You'll make a Necrovortex grandmaster yet!
Ugh. How are you doing that?
You don't even have teeth!
I simulated some - to annoy you.
Guys, it's only a game -
which I am winning!
Make your move so that I may...
destroy you!
Hmm.
See how well you can concentrate
with someone hovering behind you!
Hmm... Hmm.
Uh huh. Heh.
Please don't do that!
Why? Is it bugging you? Hmm? Hmm?
Why can't you two get along?
You're so alike!
We are nothing alike!
Well, that showed him.
Now prepare for a Fusion Rat attack!
Throckmorton's gone!
No great loss.
The game's gone!
Throckmorton is the whole ship, remember?
You shut down the interface!
Now everything's trying to shut down!
We'll call it a draw.
You corrupted his personality nodes.
If we can't reboot, the ship will self-destruct!
We need help.
Hi! I'm Chip!
It looks like you're trying to avert disaster.
Would you like me to change the siren?
Just tell us how to reboot Throckmorton!
Hi! Would you like to access his personality nodes?
Um... I vote "no".
That's no problem.
Self-destruct in 15 minutes.
If the ship blows, it'll take the whole town with it.
We have to do this.
Access personality nodes - confirm!
Whoa!
What's with the freaky funhouse?!
I think we're sort of inside Throckmorton's brain!
What?!
Hi!
It looks like you're in Throckmorton's
personality nodes, each representing
a different aspect of his character.
So what bit is that?
His love of going moldy?
Good one, Max.
Hi! That's a corrupted node.
If you want to reboot, you'll need to repair it.
Repair it? I don't even want to touch it!
I don't think we have a choice...
Throckmorton! Is that you?
I'm not moving!
I don't want to fall into the Pit of Nothing!
The "Pit of Nothing"?
Now, that's a vicious circle!
Come on, T-Mort! Fly over!
What's with him?
He's acting like a big scaredy-cat!
I think it's T-Mort's confidence.
Maybe we need to show him how to be brave again!
And by "we", you mean...?
Gark!
Ah. See? Nothing to be scared of!
Huh? Uh...
Look out! Higher mathematics!
It's the square root of two!
And it doesn't look rational!
Help me!
Aaaaaa... Oh.
I may be a spineless coward...
but I can't do worse than you two!
♪
Oof!
Who's number one? I'm number one!
My plan worked!
I knew, if he saw us in mortal danger, he'd find his courage!
W-W-W-Why would you think that?!
'Cause he's just like you.
Is not! ...much.
Okay, we fixed the node, everybody's brave,
so can we go home now?
Hi!
It looks like you're being prematurely optimistic.
More corrupted nodes remain.
Self-destruct in nine minutes.
♪
Uh... mm... heheh...
You sure this is a corrupt node?
He seems like normal to me.
Hi!
It looks like you're in
Throckmorton's intelligence node.
If you repair it, you might live.
Do you have to be so irritating?
Hi! Sure do!
"CHIP" stands for
"Contextual Help, Irritating Personality".
Uhuhuh...
oops! Heheh...
We need to get this T-Mort thinking, exercise his brain!
Then I know the very thing!
♪
Necrovortex! Great idea, Max!
Hey, T-Dumb!
I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Game on!
Heheh...
Huhuh... boom!
I'm not sure that's in the rules, T-Mort.
Ow!
Huhuh... boom-boom!
Like that, is it?
Yeah, this game really stretches the old intellect!
Ha!
You're so dumb, you can't even count to one!
You're so dumb... you're...
quite dumb?
Ooh, zing!
You're so dumb, you make Dumbo Dumkins,
the Dum-Dum Dummy of Dumtown
sound like a genius!
Yeah? Well... you're so dumb...
you should live in a "dumb-ster"!
Takes one to know one!
Careful, though. Any smarter, and you'll be an idiot!
Yeah? You're so thick,
you block WiFi!
You're so stupid, you color in the crossword!
And you smell of cat food!
What?!
Of course I do! I'm a cat!
Duh!
Told you you were alike!
You both want the last word!
Okay, okay. I give up.
You win.
Smartest thing you've said all day.
And, by the way...
That's apocalypse... loser.
Are we sure we want him back?
Yeah, 'cause we don't want the ship to explode!
Can you stop the destruct sequence?
A trivial task.
So do it!
Why should I?
What's it to me if you live or die?
I'm going out on a limb and saying
he's not completely fixed.
How long have we got?
Hi!
It looks like you've got three minutes to live.
Would you like me to...
No. Whatever it is, no.
What are we missing?
What's still corrupted?
Hi! Throckmorton's personality matrix
is 99.99 percent restored.
The corrupted 0.01 percent
is his compassion.
Chip, access compassion node - now!
Hi! It looks like you're trying to concentrate.
Hi! It looks...
Yep. Correct.
Whooooaaa!
It's so sweet.
It's creepy. I'm not going to forget that one
as long as I live.
Oh, well. It's only about
two and a half more minutes.
Hey! What are you doing?! That's me, you know!
No great loss!
Those words sound vaguely familiar.
It's just what you said!
Whoa. You two are so alike, it's almost scary!
Hey! Where are you going?
There's only seconds left, Max!
Maybe, if I can get to him...
Hurry! Save yourself!
Woohoohoo! Looky-loo!
Real live toys to play with!
I think I'll splat the little one first.
No! Take me instead!
Gark's done nothing, but I...
Well, let's face it. I haven't always been
a paragon of selflessness.
Never mind that. Point is...
I'll.
What? Speak up!
I'll gladly get splatted if you don't splat Gark!
Max...?
Go on, then - but make it quick, make it quick!
You beautiful, shining soul!
You saved us all!
Wow.
He really doesn't have much compassion, does he?
Just enough - just like you!
Daddy's home!
What bozo left the self-destruct on?
Power down.
Let's go home.
You know, I think I'm getting better at this.
Locust Swarm!
Acid Rain!
Never thought I'd say this, Max...
but I owe you one.
Zombie Rooster to Wasteland 4.
That's alpaca-lips!
Thanks, T-Mort.
We are even.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some yodeling to attend to.
He just finds it hard to show gratitude - just like...
Yeah, yeah. I get it.
He's an irritating loudmouth show-off...
but, every so often, he makes up for it.
Ooh. Speaking of "irritating",
what ever happened to Chip?
Hi! It looks like you're trying
to lock me up forever.
Good luck with that!